Just another day

As I write this I must think back to earlier times.  I was reminded of my fears.  It is the fear of something but myself and how I can be.  If I don't control myself than I can lose all control.  I used to and still do some really stupid things.  Most people say they don't fear death but I have almost died so many times.  Not that I was shot at which wouldn't be so bad.  It was little things that occurred that makes think about it.  I have no regards for life. Maybe I should live it more to love it more.  Not feeling pain and other senses can get to you.  Giving up most of your vices will do that to.

Please excuse my rambles but is have to put them somewhere.  Need the release point.  Don't want the idle mind to have too many thoughts.  

Ok I think I better stop.